Richard Morgan, prolific writer of SCI FI and FANTASY has rocked the world of vidya games by criticising the stories of every vidya game ever made.
‘Bubble Bobble is a shit game because it doesn’t have a space ship in it, or a dystopian future vision.’ sneered Morgan while he wanked off over the directors cut of Blade Runner.
‘The characters don’t develop, there’s no story arc and at no time do they rip off the plot of a popular fantasy novel. It would have been immeasurably better if it was about a guy, right, who was running around a futuristic city that looked a bit like Port Talbot at night. Maybe with a twist at the end, like, I don’t know, he’s a REPLICANT!’
Morgan has been drafted in as lead writer for the forthcoming game Crysis 2. It should be noted that Crysis 2 has no frut in it. Crysis 2 is a game about spending your parents money on a really new PC; then seeing how many frames it drops while you shoot a barrel.
‘Games aren’t about having fun with a loose premise, they’re about making people read a story I’ve completely made up on my own and not copied off anywhere or nothing; that’s the only way people can know how fucking clever I am’ burped Morgan over a bottle of Panda Pops cherryade, completely missing the point.