Probably the biggest news the FRUIT-CORE will hear this entire year…
BANGAI-O is coming to XBLA!
Srsly. Who’d have thought?
Bangai-o HD MISSILE FURY is going to be… well actually I’ve no idea. It’s probably the Dreamcast version all HD’d up as opposed to the DS or N64 version.
Don’t know anything else yet other than it’s coming sometime in Autumn.
Oh yeah, and it’s got FRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!
Our man in E3 has just checked in with FRUITAKU!
It’s bad news bears though I’m afraid.
The telegram received read like this:
NEAR NIL FRUT
This is not good news, but maybe not as bad as it would seem! ‘NEAR‘ NIL FRUT suggests that there are indeed some fruits on display at E3 2010. We can only optimistically speculate from our reporter’s gloomy but ambiguous summary.
There’s probably some fruits in that new Kirby game, but that’ll be Tomatoez and I don’t like collecting those so much. Definately a lot of BANANAS in that new Donkey Kong Country game. And of course, Metal Gear Rising’s melon chopping action stole the show.
But that seems about it. You heard it here first, once again not a great year for the FRUT-CORE ;_;
News just in at Fruitaku towers; the long awaited Grand Theft Auto IV does not contain any fruit what-so-ever.
A spokesman at Rockstar said
“Fuck, why the fuck would we put fruit in GTA IV? It’s a grey and brown game. Like Quake. Quake was grey and brown, and didn’t have any fruit at all. You know how much that shit sold? A fucktonne.”
“You know who’s going to buy GTA IV? Kids who don’t give a fuck about fruit. Let me tell you what kids like: they like guns, rain and cement. And willy-gags. You think we had enough room on that disk for fruit as well as guns, rain, cement and willy-gags? What the fuck are you, some kind of schmuck?”
Luckily, the radar on the bottom left of the screen looks like a fruit bowl. An admission of guilt? Only Rockstar know for sure…
GTA IV is released this month.