The results are in! Bubble Bobble wins by a long shot! Or at least… IT SEEMS LIKE IT SHOULD!!!
Unfortunately, it has been disqualified at the last minute for the inclusion of satan’s own winnets ‘SWEETZ’ and shameless fast food promotion (Wacdonalds). This controversial decision to strip Bubble Bobble of it’s winners medal has not been taken lightly, but we feel that a fair compromise has been made…
In a totally unpresidented turn of events, a new, un-polled winner has been declared!
We at Fruitaku towers are proud to announce that the fruitiest fruit ’em up of all time is…
YOSHI’S STORY (N64, Wii VC)
The entire game of Yoshi’s Story revolves around sniffin’ out and collecting DELICIOUS AND WHOLESOME FRUITZ! You can even select your favourite fruit, and get more points from exclusively collecting them, or you can get indescriminate on their fruity asses and collect any kind of fruit you see. For the fruity aficionado, Yoshi’s Story is the undesputed KING of the Fruit ’em Ups.
Every fruit is pre-rendered in luxurious 256 colours, and a wide selection of fruit is available… with no dilution from DISGUSTING ‘SWEETZ’ or ‘WACDONALDS’ or ‘MAGIC RODS’ – its FRUIT FRUIT and more FRUITZ all the way!
Congratulations, Yoshi’s Story. You might have been widely panned by critics and being short, shallow and too easy, but what do videogame reviewers know? FUCK ALL that’s what.
UNTIL NEXT TIME, MY OLD FRUITIES!