Asda already sold fruit. The only difference is you’re a fucking million times more likely to see this adorning the desk of an IT professional than you are real fruit
We at Fruitaku were all about Fruit Ninja to start with, and as much as we think these toys are cute, it does pang of me too desperation.
GAME MAKERS – let’s not copy everything Angry Birds did. It’s popular because it’s so non offensive it appeals to the broadest possible userbase.
Like Alan Titchmarsh.
Destined to be in bargain bins across the nation next Christmas, along with those Angry Birds toys, these cute fruits are in shops now, apparently.
It’s not like the birds have even got fucking names have they?
News just in at Fruitaku towers; the long awaited Grand Theft Auto IV does not contain any fruit what-so-ever.
A spokesman at Rockstar said
“Fuck, why the fuck would we put fruit in GTA IV? It’s a grey and brown game. Like Quake. Quake was grey and brown, and didn’t have any fruit at all. You know how much that shit sold? A fucktonne.”
“You know who’s going to buy GTA IV? Kids who don’t give a fuck about fruit. Let me tell you what kids like: they like guns, rain and cement. And willy-gags. You think we had enough room on that disk for fruit as well as guns, rain, cement and willy-gags? What the fuck are you, some kind of schmuck?”
Luckily, the radar on the bottom left of the screen looks like a fruit bowl. An admission of guilt? Only Rockstar know for sure…
GTA IV is released this month.