And here it comes… FRUT NINJA KINECT is coming!
Great looking fruits, very impressed.
Shame about them trying to use every fucking font known to man at the same time. There’s, what, at least 3 different fonts going on is there?
But this is one occasion where I can overlook a font-tombola. It’s fucking BANGAI-O!
More screenshots here, excited FRUTCHUMS: http://uk.media.xbox360.ign.com/media/085/085263/imgs_1.html
BANGAI-O is coming to XBLA!
Srsly. Who’d have thought?
Bangai-o HD MISSILE FURY is going to be… well actually I’ve no idea. It’s probably the Dreamcast version all HD’d up as opposed to the DS or N64 version.
Don’t know anything else yet other than it’s coming sometime in Autumn.
Oh yeah, and it’s got FRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!
So, Strawdog Studios alerted us to their XBLA game ‘Space Ark’ recently on a comment to another ARTICLE on FRUITAKU.
And well they might do! For their game SPACE ARK is “chockablock” with FRUT! It’s essentially a Breakout clone where you bounce an animal off your bat/trampoline. You can control the animals a little in the air with one stick, and control the bat/trampoline with the other. To play it evokes head patting / tummy rubbing ambidexterous thinking which makes the whole affair feel like twin-stick shooter Arkanoid with a fruit fixation. IN SPACE!
In fact, Space Ark has everything that should be in every great game:
Simple objective made slightly tricky by quirky control system? CHECK!
Bonus multipliers for skilled players? CHECK!
BUT WAIT – SOMETHING IS WRONG!
Let’s have a look at some of the animals you’re bouncing about…
And what on Earth is going on here? Another super-deformed animal richly embued with the sort of disturbingly alien eastern european concept of “cute” that no one outside Yugoslavia can really dig. You know when you used to watch the Moomins and it freaked you out? This.
So, if you want to play a very well tuned action puzzler full to the brim with fruit and clever little gameplay hooks, snap up Space Ark immediately.
However, if you’ve done a lot of drugs in your past and find the above pictures horriffic (I haven’t even began to tell you how FUCKING DISTURBING the blinking animation cop out is) then leave this well alone.
8/10 if you don’t mind the terrible characters and animation
6/10 if you get disturbed by charmless character design easily
Next week Final Fight Double Impact is out on XBLA.
The question on everyone’s lips however is, ANY FRUT? Well, we’ve trawled the screenshot galleries and found the following…
That’s right, FRUITFANS! There’s new Fruity content up on Xbox Live Fruit Marketplace! And here at Fruitaku we’ve got the SCOOP on the new content!
So what can it be, we hear you asking yourself? Is it a new and original Fruit? NO! It’s a MOULDY OLD ORANGE!
Prolific growers of fruit ‘Stainless Farms’ have found a shitty, rancid, furry old orange that no-one wanted to eat anyway and are selling it to you at a BARGAIN TASTIC 400 MS Points… but you don’t just get a spore-laden, half decomposed peice of fruit you’d forgotten existed! Oh no! For indeed, MOULDY OLD ORANGE comes packaged with new EXTREME ‘EVOLVED’ mode…
Be sure to get yourself down to Xbox Live Fruit Marketplace and get MOULDY OLD ORANGE today!
News just in at Fruitaku towers; the long awaited Grand Theft Auto IV does not contain any fruit what-so-ever.
A spokesman at Rockstar said
“Fuck, why the fuck would we put fruit in GTA IV? It’s a grey and brown game. Like Quake. Quake was grey and brown, and didn’t have any fruit at all. You know how much that shit sold? A fucktonne.”
“You know who’s going to buy GTA IV? Kids who don’t give a fuck about fruit. Let me tell you what kids like: they like guns, rain and cement. And willy-gags. You think we had enough room on that disk for fruit as well as guns, rain, cement and willy-gags? What the fuck are you, some kind of schmuck?”
Luckily, the radar on the bottom left of the screen looks like a fruit bowl. An admission of guilt? Only Rockstar know for sure…
GTA IV is released this month.